Learning to Simplify

Find Your Person

We drove 12 hours to Quebec, to visit a friend who was doing training on a nearby base (well, closer than where she is posted in Alberta). The reason? We really missed her and we needed some time with a military friend. You see, it takes a military person to understand another military person. No matter how much our family and friends love us and want to help, a lot of comments related to the military aspect of our life can come off as insensitive and seem to brush off the struggles that are unique to military members and their immediate family.

Think about your industry or unique situation. Have you ever tried to explain your troubles at work to someone who doesn’t understand the struggles? Isn’t it just so frustrating when your cries for help are met with “well at least you’ve got…” or “just shake it off”? It makes you feel like your struggles aren’t legitimate. 

I noticed a similar pattern in my work as a teacher. I realized early on that the struggles of a teacher are not understood by those who are not teachers. After describing a hard I’ve had teaching a class, I would be told that I should be thankful that at least I have a job and that isn’t it nice being with kids all day. The answer is yes, we do need to practice gratitude and positivity, however, sometimes you just need to rant and have someone understand to make you feel better.

I’ve come to understand that military members deal with the exact same thing. It takes another military person to empathize and give advice on how to deal with work or personal issues one may encounter while in the military.

Find your person

This leads me to believe that no matter where you are or what you do, you need to find your person. Find someone who is in the same field as you and who will understand you. Someone who will not judge you but give you support and solutions that you could use in your unique situation.

You know how in “Grey’s Anatomy” Christina told Meredith that she’s her person? They understood each other on a deeper level and could support each other through the many traumas they experienced.

We all need a Christina in our life. Who understands where we’re coming from and will just let us vent, or give us a hug, or join in on our rants, or dance it off.

The power of connection

We are capable of overcoming incredible challenges and come out stronger. Whether it be dealing with difficult work situations or dealing with moving and changing plans at a moment’s notice, by having someone who can simply be there and can empathize with us makes us invincible to these challenges.

So find your person, find your tribe. And once you find them, don’t let them go! Stay connected. And if it takes a 12-hour trip one way to see them over the weekend, I’d say it’s worth it.

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